Selena Gomez / 13 Reasons Why (Season 2) / 2018
Back To You
wistful, conflicted, resigned
A song about romantic relapse — the narrator admits that despite time, distance, and even a current partner, an old attachment still pulls her back. It's built around a single confession repeated until it sounds inevitable rather than romantic.
romantic relapse emotional dishonesty unresolved attachment infidelity guilt compulsion vs. choice
Who's speaking
First-person address to a former partner; the speaker is candid about her own contradictions, making her an unreliable but self-aware narrator who admits she's acting against her better judgment.
What happens
The song opens with the speaker trying to rationalize that time has dulled her feelings, only to find every conversation reignites them. She moves from self-denial to admission, acknowledging she's currently involved with someone else but still fixated on the past relationship. By the end, the admission has become a near-mantra, suggesting she's stopped fighting the pull altogether.
How it's built
Verse-chorus structure with a short pre-chorus couplet that functions as a turning point each time, tipping from hesitation into confession. The choruses barely change lyrically but accumulate emotional weight through repetition, and the outro strips the song down to just the repeated vow, mimicking the obsessive loop described in the lyrics.
Section by section
Opening verse
“water down how I'm feeling”
The speaker frames her attempt to move on as a deliberate dilution of emotion, admitting upfront that the strategy has failed — every contact reopens the same feeling she tried to suppress.
Pre-chorus
This short couplet acts as a hinge each time it appears, moving the song from hesitation to declaration. It's where the speaker stops hedging and admits the attachment outright, even flagging her own confession as premature or presumptuous.
Chorus
The chorus lays out the core conflict plainly: she's physically or emotionally elsewhere but mentally consumed by this other person. The repeated vow to return isn't framed as a plan but as an admission of an urge she can't fully control.
Second verse
“replaying old conversations”
The imagery of mentally rehearsing past dialogue suggests obsessive rumination rather than nostalgia — she's not just missing someone, she's stuck in analysis of what went wrong and what remains unresolved.
Bridge/outro
The song sheds its narrative detail and collapses into the bare repetition of the central vow, formally enacting the loss of control the lyrics describe — thought has become compulsion.
Craft
- repetition/anaphora
- The repeated assertion of returning to this person is used almost incantatorily, mirroring the intrusive, looping nature of the thought itself rather than just stating a decision once.
- metaphor
- The opening comparison of the relationship to a strong drink conveys impulsivity and intoxication, setting up the idea that the attraction is something consumed rather than reasoned through.
- paradox
- The heart-break image followed by it still beating for the person captures the contradiction of being hurt by someone yet still wanting them, encapsulating the song's central tension.
Reading it
The most persuasive reading treats the song as a confession of emotional infidelity — the speaker is physically with someone else but unable to let go of an ex, and the song doesn't resolve this tension so much as surrender to it. An alternative reading is more metaphorical: the 'someone else' could stand for a new identity or life she's built, making the song about regression to old patterns or an old sense of self rather than strictly a person. The lyric itself supports the literal romantic reading more strongly, but the ambiguity leaves room for the broader interpretation.
Context
The song appears on the soundtrack for season two of 13 Reasons Why, a show dealing with trauma and difficult relationships among teenagers, which may color the track's themes of unresolved emotional business, though I don't have confirmed details on how the song was placed within the show or any statements from Gomez about its specific inspiration.
Listen for
- how the pre-chorus couplet shifts the song's tone each time it recurs
- the way the chorus barely varies but gains weight through repetition
- the stripped-down outro where only the central vow remains
- the tension in the vocal delivery between resignation and desire
About Selena Gomez
Selena Marie Gomez is an American actress, singer, songwriter, businesswoman, and producer. Gomez began her career as a child actress on the children's television series Barney & Friends (2002–2004), and emerged as a teen idol for her leading role as Alex Russo on the Disney Channel sitcom Wizards of Waverly Place (2007–2012).
b. 1992 / United States
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